Sunday, October 20, 2013

Blood Sport

An imprortant part of a commercial vehicle driver's job is the pre-trip inspection. As part of the pre-trip inspection, we fill out a form called a DVIR, or Daily Vehicle Inspection Report. This form is required by the Department of Transportation, and they are saved and reviewed annually by DOT's jack-booted thugs, or the Highway Patrol. The forms are in a book, and they are NCR (carbon-less copy) paper. The top white pages gets removed after the last trip of the day and brought into the office for review and storage, and the yellow copy stays in the book in the bus. There is a cardstock flap on the back cover of the book which you insert between the white and yellow pairs of pages In short, these forms are pretty important, and the company tolerates no nonsense on the DVIRs. That includes jokes, drawings, foul language, unnecessary comments, etc.

One day recently, I nicked my knuckle (that's fun to say) while doing a pre-trip inspection of my bus. It was no big deal, but I accidentally got a little blood on the white page of the DVIR. I knew my blood was harmless, but I worried that other people might worry about it. Being mindful of questionable markings on the precious DVIR, I got a Post-It note, and writting on it off the page (so it wouldn't press through to the yellow copy), I left the following message for the next person to handle the white page:


In case your wondering, there's a sort of tradition at work wherein several of us have food-related nicknames like Cookie, Peanut, Pumpkin, etc. I chose Tater for myself, one) because I like taters, and two) before someone might choose something for me that I wouldn't care for, and three) Ron White, that's why.

Now, I am aware that my "cage" could be considered unnecessary marks on the white sheet, but I couldn't think of any other way to pull off this weird joke, and some weird jokes just have to be done, at least as far as I'm concerned. Besides, I figured that if anyone questioned me about the "cage", I could just say that I was trying to ameliorate the unsightly stain.

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